he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
