Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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