walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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