I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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