went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
