The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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