Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
