It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
