That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
