What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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