So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
