Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Rumble strips road head = magical
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
