this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
