she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
