Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
