If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
