I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
