We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
