I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
