I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
