How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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