Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
