my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The power of my boobs compel you
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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