im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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