marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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