Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
