yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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