I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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