You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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