no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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