We're facebook friends in real life
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
