My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
