im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
