ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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