So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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