just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
