We won't sleep together?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
