Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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