just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
