i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
