it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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