so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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