just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
