for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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