What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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