butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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