I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
