Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
