well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You're a waste of cheezeits
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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