i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
