Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
