people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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