I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
