even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
