Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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